Junk - why I am proud to be a Womble?

Junk has to be my word of the day today as I unpacked my belongings after Christmas and looked around my flat. No, I’m not referring to my Christmas presents, I am merely commenting on the amount of stuff I have seem to have in my flat, which some would probably label as Junk. What is it they say about Junk to one person is another person’s treasure? Okay, I have to admit there are a number of items in my flat that perhaps should be given a new home (i.e. The inside of a black plastic bag), but it is knowing where to start which is the problem.  Hence, why after I’ve identified what I should be doing, I have sat down to write this. I am also listening to the Wings’ song Junk. If you don’t know the song, I would suggest you look it up, it is very lovely song.  

So back to my junk, where to start? I think one of the major problems for me and I am happy to admit this, I am a hoarder, a trait I have inherited from my parents and I am proud of it.  I would also call a hoarder a resourceful person, a bit like a Womble, as you never know what is going to come in handy.  There is nothing more annoying than needing something that you knew you once had and it is gone, but you can take this too far! Where am I on the scale? I am at the stage that I know that some of my junk needs to go and I need to clear some of the junk to move forward. The trouble with being a hoarder is that it is also an emotionally state and I think sometimes we hold on to things because they remind us of a certain time and events in our lives which provoke a mixture of memories that can be hard to let go. It takes courage because, in life, it is all about moving forward and find the next new adventure, but all we have is our past to work with and it is our past that shape how we move forward and sometimes it is bloody painful to let go of the past.

Oh boy, I’ve got a bit deep today, but it is good deepness, because for me, I know that I am ready to let more go and more forward - I think for the last well while I have been happy to stand relatively still, because for a time I found myself on very shaky ground with myself and I lost a confidence in myself and I am happy to say it is back and it is back with abundance. It is time to let go of some of the junk and make space for the future. It is time to stop hiding away and look for the wonders in my world.

My message to everyone for next year is just to believe in yourself and the people that you love and care about. We cannot control what will happen to us or the world around us, but to have people in you life who you love and trust, is worth so much more than having 500 days of summer. I leave you with this quote: “Wake up this new year with a smile and go after life knowing you’re amazing.”

It's Christmas and the novel remains unfinished

So, it is christmas once more - this year has gone very quick. In fact everything goes quickly apart from my writing. I am still no nearer from getting the novel finish, however, I am happy with the rate of writing. Ther are some works of art that cannot be rushed.

In November (I know it has been three months since I last blogged, but I've been busy working on a new website for work and enjoying the challenges of putting a website together), I did sit down and start a new novel for November write a novel in a month competition, but unfortunately it wasn't finished in time for the competition. However, although it may have created another piece of work that is unfinished, the sheer buzz of being about to sit down and write something total fresh always gives me a buzz, because I always worry that no matter how many different names I give a character, I am actually just writing about the same characters all the time, and just really giving them different character features.

I suppose though that some would argue in the literary world that story, plots and characters are repeated all the time and that there are only a limited number of characters and storylines in the world and authors are really just putting their take on the idea that had been done before. Philip Pullman once described authors as magpies, always looking for something shinny and if they like what they see, they will find a way of using it in their stories. I am not saying that authors shoud pinch ideas and steal story, but we do have the licence to adapt scene and scenerios from works of ficton into our own writing.  I think that why it is so important for authors to read the books all around them - to find inspiration and to feel someone else's talent for wordsmithing.

It is a bit like Christmas writing, Christmas is a time of tradition and time old customs that through the generations we change and adapt to fit our standard of living. No two households will celebrate Christmas in the same way, but there will be common threads coming through in each household.  Writing is a tradition that authors are inspired to do because of their reading and understanding of the literaty word and what had come before them, and we aim to create work that will become a classic in its own rights. Hundreds will try and only a few will break through to become real classics, but to be a writer, you keep this belief that you can create a classic to stand out from the rest, so even though the novel remains unfinish, I will set a goal again next year, because I know I have a classic in me.

Getting to know your characters

Characters, whether good or bad, need to be known before they can come alive  on a page. Having been writing some of my characters for nearly ten years, I started to wonder I could become more familiar with them and how to inject three dimensions into the cupboard cut outs that sometimes fall into my prose. 


I was lucky last weekend to attend a workshop on how to write scripts at Edinburgh International Book Festival. The workshop taken by Nicola McCartney, who is an author and script writer and I am still inspired by everything that we covered during the session. 


The workshop excited me because it reminded me of the focus on drama, rather than description and that all characters, whether they are your heros or only is in the book for two chapters, it is important to understand their goal and the conflicts surrounding their journey towards their goals. There are four different levels of conflict


1. Inner
2. Interpersonal
3. Horizontal (your character's social group and rules to how to live their lives)
4. Vertical (those out with the controls of your character, i.e. time)


Allowing your characters space and time to go through these levels, brings depth to their presence in the book. They say that when you write short stories you shouldn't introduce any elements to the plot if it isn't necessary. This is true of any piece of writing, if it is not relevant to the story, why share?


Only then do your characters really start to work within a story that the plot can develop in a way that is both believable and spell-binding to your readers and helps them believe that the characters they are reading about could end up walking the streets where they live.

What makes a really good villain?

Identity and belonging - two strong words - running through my mind as I am waiting outside the Elephant House in Edinburgh waiting for a friend for a coffee.  I suppose I have always been interested in identity, but it is especially strong due to the fact that I am super fan of the television programme "Who do you think you are", the hit BBC show about exploring people's family tree.

"Sometimes I wonder who I am and how much of me is defined by my ancestry, and if the figures from my tree are shaping me, how do I ensure that I don't lose me whilst being a range of characters for other people." 

If there is an answer to the above thought, I don't know whether we will ever find out.  When you start working through the ghosts in your branches, you start to understand that there are character traits that wonder down the generations and it isn't explainable, because at the end of the day, they may be blood but they are strangers to you and you cannot possible understand their lives and actions.

You are probably wondering what has this got to do with writing? Characters and character development. For me, characterisation is key to my novel and one of the problems (yes, there is more than one) is that my villain, in parts, comes over as a cupboard cutout, which isn't good.

If you are writing any story, it is important that each of the characters has depth and meaning, and although I think I know my villain inside out, I think that I have always written it the novel inside the head of my main characters, and in her eyes, she doesn't really like him.

For a writer, it is easier to write the characters which are nearest to yourself and it takes more vulnerability to write the ones that you really don't akin yourself to. But for my novel to work, my villain has to come across as a real person and there has to be depth to why he acts in the manner he does. I think about the villains that I have enjoyed reading, they have always had the same depth as the hero, and sometimes, the people you see as villains are the heros for other people.

I wonder what make a really good villain in your eyes?

Don't walk backwards

Don't walk backwards

I think when I started this blog it was about the future. The journey of Julia Boxer and her world of writing and the journey to get published. But over the last couple of weeks, I have felt as though my move forward has taken me back into my past. People seem to worry about going backwards and making the same mistakes over and over again. There is a great quote by Anna Maxted in the book Getting Over It:

"There's a time in your life when you have to stop looking back and start looking forward otherwise you're going to walk down the road one day and bump into a lamp-post."

Now reading her words again has made me realise that there is a different between going back to the past and going backwards. You will always be moving closer to the future and it is down to yourself whether you look at the future and long for the past. I know for me the past is important but it is the future that I am looking forward to (even though I am listening to classic 80s rock).

Quote of the week

Yesterday I was worried that I was going back to a place which I didn't like very much, today I have banished the key to the place to the bottom of the ocean. Life doesn't repeat, it highlights and gives you the opportunity to find what you were missing the first time around.

Said by me on the 5th July.

Seven quotes for seven days

Outstanding quotes for the weeks - these words always bring a smile to my face:

"Life is painless for the brainless"

A line from the song "Dancing through Life" from Wicked the music

"Don't worry that you'll take the shot & you'll miss. The fact is you'll miss every shot you don't take." Anon.

"anyone who lives within their means, suffers from a serious lack of imagination." Oscar Wilde

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of hand." Tony Cresswell

"Whatever you dream you can do begin in. Boldness has genius, power & magic in it. Begin it now." Goethe

"When I'm old I'm never going to say "I didn't do this" or "I regret that." I'm going to say, "I don't regret a damn thing. I came, I went, and did it all." Kim Basinger

"Break the Monotony. Do something strange and Extravagant." Emerson

Feel free to add your own.

Too long between posts

I think the title says it all - it has been too long between posts and it is about time I became more dedicated to keeping up with the things I love. June is always my favourite month of the year as it is when I celebrate my birthday, and despite the fact that June always makes me a year older, I also feel reinvigorated by its arrival. Over the last week, I would say that I have been reconnecting with some of the classic stories from childhood; a trip to London last week allowed me to see the fantastic musical "Wicked" and then on Thursday, we saw a production of "Peter Pan" in Edinburgh. Both magical and amazing. I think it is easy to forget what inspired you when you were young and it is easy to dismiss childhood dreams. I am starting to reorganise my office today (I am meant to be writing a critic analysis of a web site for a job interview on Tuesday, but I am easily distracted today) and so I thought I would share with you this poem, which I wrote about 16 years old and it won me a book from Lady Strathmore of Glamis Castle.

Pooh Sticks

Everyone knows and has played

The game Winnie-the-Pooh Started

We hurry to watch our Pooh Sticks

But what happens when they are out of sight?

Little sticks on the water

Thrown away by its owner

Into a life

Of the unknown

Some sticks are stuck very soon

After becoming free

Too scare to travel too far

But too scared to turn back.

Some sticks float forever

Sometimes calling at stops

But never is the stop permanent

Because they enjoy the journeys of the river

Some sticks are picked up

And become a vital part of a family

A cosy member of a house

Needed to make it complete

Some sticks fall from security,

Jumped, pushed or misguided

Lost forever from the next

Cautious for the next time.

We all have our pooh sticks

Which we lose touch of

And even if we had refused to play

The sticks would root in our hands.

Pooh Sticks have to be played in life

Each stick has to journey alone down the stream

Only one day we will see our pooh sticks again

And truly understand the beauty of the game.

Why should I vote?

Follow the yellow brick road to the voting booths

On 15th April, along with nearly 10 million other viewers, I sat down and watched the first leaders’ debate of David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown and it was clear that Nick Clegg would come out of the debate favourably. But as I turned to my boyfriend and asked “what difference would it make?” We both decided it would change very little. It did, however, make me think about the nation of Britain; when the chips are down and we are unhappy with the status quo, we’ll talk about change, we threaten change, but when it comes down to it, we, as a nation, are as scared of change as the Cowardly Lion.

Whist the debate waxed lyrical about the burning issues of MP expenses, the deficit in our economy and the ever cash-burning NHS, I couldn’t help but ask myself whether our leaders, had forgotten one thing that would need to change before anything else, and that is our attitude toward the voting.

It is true to say that in the first decade of the 21st century, we are apathetic to our right of being part of the electoral roll, because we can’t see the point of voting. But wait a minute, it was only two paragraphs ago that 10 million people were watching an election debate, that is 38% of the whole voting population of Britain stopping their busy lives to listen to three men talk about their creditability for being the leader of our nation. So already, this euphoria which is spreading the nation, isn’t really being driven by a huge majority. So, again, I am beginning to think that we don’t really believe that we can make the difference. Do we really want the change?

If we do, it needs to start with trying to bring excitement back to voting. People are talking about a hung parliament and how there is no way that the Liberal Party can get in and break the two party race. If Britain wants a multi party government, then that is fine, but if we end up with a multi party government because only 38% of the population voted, then can we really say that this is a reflection of what people want in Britain? Real change only comes if people feel engaged and turned on about what is happening in the country. The Cowardly Lion lived in this brightly coloured world of Oz but his own fear made him as black and white as the world that Dorothy was running away from.

In the last general election, 61.36% of the number of people who are eligible. And yet it is only 100 years ago, when people were campaigning, to the death, to secure the right to vote. Have we really grown up into a society that is so ungrateful about living in a democracy? I wonder sometimes whether we have forgotten the meaning of being able to choose and change the society we live in. Perhaps a stiff, stern marketing campaign on what it would be like to live without democratic rights might wake us up. How many women today, in Britain, would be willing to take part in the activities of the Suffragettes and try the cat & mouse diet whilst in prison? Also, if we are going to look at the political history of Britain, it is less then 100 years ago, that the political landscape was changed and the Labour Party started to rise whilst the Liberals fell into decline. I don’t think they saw that coming either. The vote has changed things before and it can happen again but it can only change if we use the vote our forefathers fought for. If you don’t like history, here’s a modern story - the election of a black president in the USA in 2009. Some said that could never happen.

So am I prepared to use my own vote? Yes, for me, 2010 has been about change, personal change, professional change. I made the decision that I needed to change my life and I needed to break a cycle I found myself in. I left my job and have taken a different route this year. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but I knew there was something inside of me who needed to feel change in her life. The decision to break away wasn’t easy, it took courage and trust in myself. Change takes courage, it takes acceptance of what has gone before and the strength to breakaway and retrain your brain. It is not about forgetting or destroying what came before but it is about recognizing all the strength and weaknesses of the past and moulding them into the future. Only by accepting the past, can you truly embrace the future. And, although people can often scare you with talk of how it might be and the dangers of trying something new, the truth about the future is - it is unknown and not knowing what is about to come next is sometimes the most exciting adventure.

I have, also, asked myself why I care so much about the power of the vote? My upbringing - my dad has always been part of the political scene in the village where I grew up. And although I don’t always see my dad’s point of view, his passion for politics and the power of debate has left its mark on me. Sometimes, you may think that that the Houses of Parliament are too far removed from your own life. But think about one issue - the issue of changing National Insurance contributions from 2011, if you work - it matters, if you about to retire - it matters and if you concerned about Britain’s debt - it matters. Whatever your political beliefs, it comes down to the ballot box and having the confident to choose the change you want.

So if you are sick of being called a Cowardly Lion or Britain being the Tin Man, choose to exercise your right to vote that, once upon of time people fought for, and make the trip down your yellow brick road to the polling station. We can all make changes in our lives, in our country, in this world but the first thing we have to do is take the first step of change, and use the change process available to all of us - the power of our vote.

Footsteps of the beach

This poem was published this year in UK Inspirations by Forward Press and was written by me.

Footsteps on the beach

Footsteps on the beach

Each step different; unique

As we move forward to a place unknown,

We are creating history all of our own.

People try to predict the future,

Try to second guess the world of tomorrow

It is hard work and strange; worrying

Because the future is unknown.

I have watched many people try to plan their future

Living to the do list on the kitchen table

Struggling to fit it all in

Turning down opportunities, because their plan says no.

We all need order and discipline,

But we also need to be undefined in our minds

Ready to recognise the mysteries in life

And those leaps of faith that fill your blood with adrenaline.

I looked at our footsteps in the sands,

Two unique prints marking out their own paths

Going in the same direction today

But neither one knows whether,

They’re heading to the same destination.

Both strong individual steps; clear on their paths

Now they are learning to walk together.

Developing a new pattern whilst remaining unique

Hoping to improve the happiness of the other.

Our footsteps aren’t worried about their future

As they are too busy enjoying the dance of today

Because our footsteps are creating history of our own

Giving us the strength to create a little more

Stop press

Just a very quick blog to say that I have been published today - it is fantastic to see my name is print.

Find yourself a mentor

I am currently doing an application form, which has made me think about an old family friend and it has made me realise that sometimes you have to look backwards to move forwards.

Sometimes it is easier to forgot who has been there in the past and helped shape you for the future. It is strange, sometimes the hardest and saddest memories are the ones which makes you smile strong and gives you the strength to try even harder. If I could give any advice to anyone today - it would be to find a mentor, or two for your life. If you can find people who inspire you than whatever life throws up you, you can come up smiling, even when the end of the smile is being greeted by tears from your eyes. The poem below was written for a friend, who died nearly 13 years ago but his openness and ability to listen and discuss anything is something we could all learn from at times. Open your minds to the power of the unknown and life will always surprise you.

The Mentor

In memory of Tom Scott 1932 - 1997

As we walk in life,

There are quiet mentors behind us.

Hearing our footsteps; feeling our fears.

Sharing our laughter; and catching our tears

There was no friendship asked for,

But the greatest was given

A friendship which was filled with

Fun, faithfulness and fellowship.

The colourfulness of the friendship is easy to recall.

In remembering the smile, the laughter and the kind words.

The eagerness to listen

Backed with the unfailing nature to understand.

What more is needed in a friend?

Qualities like these are priceless,

And it is a friend like that

Who you cannot stop yourself from loving.

Without you, my friend

Life seems a duller place.

The sun has lost a little of its shine

And life hasn’t got the same bounce.

I miss your strength

Your courage and belief in the world and its wonders

I know you’re there, in all our hearts.

But sometimes that just won’t be enough.

Happiness is a butterfly...

Currently working on demons, dreams and Little Pink - too much to type at the moment. Here's a little quote though to show that I have not forgotten you all:

"Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."

How to write well naked

I was sitting last night watching "How to Look Good Naked" on TV and I had this brain was - how to write well naked.

Now before you finish creating images of me using my moleskin notepads to cover up my delicate parts, I was thinking more about being able to show off what I write and not to hide it all in a note pad. Last night, when Gok worked his magic on his chosen lady, it was not really about the clothes she wore, but more about the person that they covered.

As with all makeover shows, the journey, last night, was to make the lady recognise her own inner beauty so she would be proud of who she was. If you are wondering what this has to do with naked writing, it is the principle of being able to be bold enough to share what is being written in its naked form. When I write, the words comes from a place deep inside of me that isn't shared with many people, like my own wonderland and my fear is always what if I have the courage to let someone else into my wonderland, will they want to change it?

There are guidelines to write and edit prose, but before you get to that stage, you first have passion. Passion (to me when writing), is letting the words pour out of your head and jump onto the page as if you had the last bit of paper in the whole wide world. Sometimes it is the rawness of fresh words that motivates my entire world. Stories, poems and novels take time and the editing process can take a lifetime and turn your whole world into a mass of red pen and correction fluid that changes the passion into a reality.

Writing is my passion, it is my legal high that costs nothing, and if the words are right they will give me the same hit, time and time again. To me, it is wonderful to get lost in words and now I intend to share my passion for prose. I can't guarantee polished works of fiction and correct grammar 100% of the time. But I can promise naked prose with you and, if you let me, I will take you on a journey to an unknown world.

Start your dream life today

Ten very important questions

This top ten is not mine - it is taken from Glamour magazine, February 2010 and was written by Jacqui Ripley. When I read the article, they rang true to me and I think they should be shared. them as I think anyone can relate to them, unless you have your dream life and then you might have your own advice!

1. What are your top three heart-sinkers?

2. Do you value things you don't actually believe in?

3. Are you working towards the life you want - or are you putting it off?

4. What would you do if you won the lottery?

5. If you knew failure wasn't an option, what would you want to do with life?

6. What is your inner critic shouting at you?

7. What would you do with an extra hour in the day?

8. Picture a successful person you admire. How different are they from you

9. What is your intuition telling you?

10. How would you play out your fantasy life?

It makes you think about what we actually want to get out of life.

London - the secret mission

04/02/09 - London - the secret mission

Right I am sitting in the middle of Convent Gardens listening to Mozart being played live and I am smiling to myself. (And it is not because I am eating a chocolate muffin.) I have just finished my secret mission - interviewing for a copywriter position with Scope (I suppose I should say that Scope is a charity who support and fights for the equality of disable people, with a particular focus on people who have cerebral palsy.) Although most of you know about Scope due to a little walk that I did in South Africa. Will I get the job - it’s 50/50. In some respects my life would be easier if I don’t get it. But it is has vindicated me as when I left Realise, one of the reasons was to explore the opportunities of becoming a paid writer and within a month of leaving, I have secured this interview. Why would it be easier if I don’t get it? The job is in London, not Edinburgh, which would mean moving to the big smoke for four months and everything that goes along with making that kind of move I would have to deal with, i.e. dealing with my old demises, the tube train. It is almost like I am Doctor Who and the tube trains are my very own Daleks.

The feud between us started when I was a young girl and I probably used to scream the tube station down every time I had to go on one. To a small girl, who was (and still is) scared of heights, tube trains were big, noisy, busy and deep underground. Thinking about it now, my dad must have found this odd as he is a Londoner and tube trains would have been a way of life for him. Anyway my fear continued into my late teens and it wasn’t helped by the Kings Cross fire in the late 1980s and the fact that my dad & sister talked about it all the way to my Grandparents’ house, the first time we were in London after the fire. I remember that was the Easter holiday that I wouldn’t go to Convent Garden and my family had to perform magic to get me to see Starlight Express. I think my poor Grandpa had to drive us into Kings Cross to get the train home (lovely child, wasn’t I?). It wasn’t until university, did I start fighting back on my phobia. It was the London Book fair that eventually saw me and my Daleks start to have a more friendly relationship.

The London Book Fair is one of the most important dates in the publishing world’s calender. For a final year publishing student writing a dissertation on the demise of territorial rights due to growth of the online bookseller, the opportunity to interview some publishers and listen to speaks talk about the demons of online bookselling, was more important than staying above ground. Now this is where I have to be honest, if I could have been driven to Earls Court everyday, I would have been happier, but there was no way my aunty would have entertained this request, so I did venture down underground and somehow the old tube trains didn’t feel quite as menacing as they were in my youth.

I am afraid though that my moments of braveness for the book fair didn’t make me a fan of the tube train, and I continually battle with the idea of the tube every time I have to cross London. Now I am not stupid, or made of money, and I know that if I was to live in London that I would need to be at ease with the tube system so today wasn’t just about the interview, it was about being able to explore London by tube. From arriving at Kings Cross today, immediately, I thought, shit, I am going to be stuck at Kings Cross all day and perhaps I could take a taxi to Scope’s office. But no, I thought to myself, I want to go into Convent Gardens and come back to Edinburgh with some money so I went to get my day rover around the tube. Scope’s offices are just off Caledonian Road in Market Street. Caledonian Road is the first station on the Piccadilly line, if you are heading to Cockfosters, so familiar territory for me! The journey is nothing to speak about, because there is nothing in it. Five minutes, or less, to get there. Okay, tube trains are still noisy, smelly and underground but, for me, they aren’t as scary as they once were.

I remember one of the episodes in Doctor Who, the Daleks, they are in captivity and you see their vulnerability, and even although they’ll always be the Doctor Who baddie that you hid behind the sofa when you were a child, you know that their goal is to protect what they believe in, just like the Doctor. Tube trains are the just the transport of London and they aren’t there to terrorise people, but to give them an alternative way to travel. I realise now that I am in sitting in Convent Gardens, enjoying this lovely music that I could live in this city and enjoy the different aspects of living that London could offer. I wouldn’t choose lightly to come to London but the opportunity at Scope could make me tackle my Daleks on a day-to-day bases, and I am grateful that this opportunity has made me think outside of my comfort zone.

So what about the job - I think it goes without saying what it would mean to me to be able to write everyday for a charity who’s mission and brand I can fully get behind. One of my questions I was asked in the interview was what are the challenges when writing for the audience of Scope, and I think my answer was that you would show empathy, not sympathy in your writing, and for me, I would need to be carefully that my own voice and experiences didn’t cloud what I was writing. I would need to control my passion because whatever else I have learnt about being disable, is that no two disabled people will have the same experiences in life. What scares me is that my style in writing still needs to be worked on. One of the beautiful things about being creative is that you never stop learning new techniques and new ways to improve your own skills. They are looking for someone to come in for four months and to be able to write all the different materials. I know deep down I could do it, but I know that I would have to submerge myself into the job 200% and I probably would be in a Scope bubble for the next four months of my life, which is something I could do. New challenges and opportunities, it is all exciting, especially when you realise that you are willing to flip your whole life 180 degree to make something happen. It has remind me of how much this girl enjoys the adventure and journey of life, especially when it throws up a curve ball that could take you away from everything that you know to do a job, which embodies everything you believe in.

I would love to sit around and talk some more, but I am going to meet a friend at St. Pancras’ station. He had said to meet him at the statue on the first floor. I have no idea what this statue is off and by meeting on the first floor, it means that I will have to go upstairs - yet another challenge for me - I am really enjoying my secret mission. I am also thinking that I may spent a lot of time in Convent Gardens if I am successful in getting this job. In fact, there is lots I can see myself doing, if I end up in London...

Footsteps of the future... first steps

Well, I have done my first couple of weeks being a freelancer (or unemployed, depending on whether you see the glass half full or half empty) How has these weeks been? Well - I must admit that it has been a little like a holiday. Oh shut up, I needed the break - half my problems come from my inability to switch off, so yes, I have switched off. I did get up on my first freelance Monday, write a to-do list and dream about all the things I was going to do. I can happily report that nearly 90% of the actions weren’t done in the first week. What, you ask, have I done? I have been enjoying myself, thinking about the future and making roads into what I want to be. I would say the first three days were a bit strange. It is the realisation that this is not just a holiday and that there is no one there watching you, asking you to do things and generally keeping an eye on you. I think I saw on Wednesday (13 January) how easy it would be to become a cough potato as I lay on my bed and had an afternoon nap. Yes - I know, but in a way, it was the best nap I could have had.

As I lay on my bed, I thought how boring this life could become, mulling away the hours, procrastinating about all the things I could be doing, but never getting around to doing them. It is easy to hide away and become really lazy! Then, I remembered why it was that I have decided to go freelance and all the opportunities I could see before my eyes. Not one of them was lying on my bed at 3pm, bored. There is so many reasons why this lifestyle shouldn’t work, but I think the biggest factor is motivation. It is getting up each day and going hello world, what have you got stored up for me today? We have only one life and it is not to be spent in bed sleeping!

Having just read this back it sounds as though I didn’t do anything until Thursday, I did do about 11 hours of volunteering, I went walking in snow - I found three jobs to apply for and started thinking about topics for freelance articles. I remembered to send cards to my Granny and Uncle, paid the stair cleaners and go to writing group, where I read out two new stories and started my New Zealand/Beatles murder story that has been in my head since 2004.

Then on Thursday (14 January) , I sat down and started to think about the CV. Don’t you love writing a CV and trying to make yourself beauty? I suppose the key with the CV is to be proud of what you have done. I think everyone has a journey in their career and the key is being able to communicate this within 2 sheets of A4. Needless to say, I was working on it until Saturday night, where I have got something I am happy with. (Although I think I’ll keep working on it so that it becomes an active document) I also need to create a portfolio to support my CV. It is all about image.

Sometimes, I wish could be Bridget Jones, and walk into a room wearing a low cut top and go, right sir this is me, this is what I about, and if you give me a chance, I will give you dedication in return. I have my demons just like anyone else, but I am trustworthy, honest and passionate. Give me a job and I will wear these kind of tops for the next ten weeks. Maybe not, it would set women’s rights back by about 60 years. After nearly five and half hours at my faithful MacBook, I treated myself to a trip down Princes Street, where I spent half of my vouchers from Christmas, before meeting boyfriend from work. We went over to Musselburgh for the night, for a change, and then a Friday I got my belated Christmas present.

Okay, that might have sounded rude, but we had postponed a trip to the Witchery that we had in the diary for Christmas Eve, due to snow. For those not familiar with Edinburgh, the Witchery is one of the top restaurants in Edinburgh, situated up at the Castle. I hadn’t eaten there before and after a review in a weekend paper, I had my doubts whether it would meet expectations. It just shows that you shouldn’t believe all that you read as I was really impressed from the moment we walked in. The atmosphere was classic, but not too pretentious, and the food was lovely. I had fresh crab salad to start with which melted in the mouth, followed by scallops on a bed of mash, which was equally delicious. Although the pudding menu looked divine, both boyfriend and I went for cheese and biscuits, which was very filling and tasty. The meal was excellent, along with the service and I would be the first person to recommend it to a friend. Unfortunately, when, I suggested that we should make lunch a weekly event there, boyfriend reminded me that I was the one without an income and maybe we needed to win the lottery to indulge in that kind of living. I reluctantly agreed, and put my thought on the list of things I will do once the novel becomes a best seller. Just because it won’t happen at the moment, doesn’t mean it isn’t something to aim for in life. What’s the quote “Shoot for the moon - even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

After the Witchery, we wondered over to the Museum of Scotland and climbed up (okay we took the lift) to the roof terrace to look at Edinburgh’s skyline. It may sound cheesy, but there is still something breathtaking about the skyline and all the iconic buildings that stand proud in our city even after living here for nearly 15 years. I sometimes wonder what the city would say if the buildings could talk. It brings up the idea of footsteps, past, present and future, being contained on the streets where we live. The idea of history rolled around my brain as we walked around an exhibition about Scottish people and the changes the nation has been through. We are a nation of footsteps, each individual in their path, but combined, they can influence and change the course of history. We are all standing on the footsteps of the past, hoping we can make a difference for the future. As you can tell, the concept of footsteps figures greatly on my mind, which is good, as my poem “Footsteps on a beach” is published this month.

Footsteps are a good image to leave this blog entry on as this is a start of a whole new adventure for me and it is very exciting as I am not following someone’s else path, but creating a new set of footprint for myself. New journeys and experiences can often take you further than you have ever been before and strangely bring you back to where you meant to be.