2012 - a year to be a little bit braver

Happy new year folks - yes I do remember how to write.

Somehow we have got back to January again and there is no new best seller by Julia C. Boxer on the shelves. Somewhere along the line, I have let six years come between finishing the first draft and doing the rewrite. Yes I coughed somewhere, lost some confidence and didn't really believe in how to finish the book. Do I know how to now? What has changed?

Can I finish my book? Yes! And although I don't know whether it will ever be published, there would be something deeply important to actually not look at the piles of paper in the flat and think, if only if I change this/that then it would be finished. Boyfriend thinks I should send it off, but there is nothing worst for me than thinking that something was right and to be honest, there are some gaps and jumps in the prose that don't make sense even to me. There is a part of me who thinks that after all this time perhaps I should just rip it all up and start again - new year 2013 - we could just have a big bonfire on Arthur's Seat. Tempting??

Okay, I am not being serious, there would be nothing worst, and even if I shredded every last page, the words would still be burning in my soul and I would be tortured by my own stupidity!  I know it is down to confidence and putting yourself out there. It is about turning over the new leaf and believing in yourself and your ability to achieve what burns in your soul on the list of achievements you want to have to your name.  And this nicely, links into the new year, how many people out there has set new year resolutions, only to have broken then in day sixth of the year?

That is the trouble with new year resolutions - we party up until the 3rd of January and then on  the 4th  we deny ourselves everything as way of punishing ourselves for enjoying ourselves. Why? New year resolutions should be seen as positive goals for the year that inspire in January, one of the longest and darkest months of the year.  Let change resolutions to  goals for an exciting year, and if this year is  anything like past years the ones, then it is going to be a whirlwind 366 days! For me, I don't know what this year is going to be like (I've been told it will be filled with surprises), but I am going to live by the three B's - I'm going to be braver,  going to believe in myself  more and I am going to live brightly in the hope that I can bring brightness to all those I care about! And just maybe Christmas 2012 will bring about a finish book! Okay, lets not get carried away.